Kids · Uncategorized

Why I lie to my kids.

Santa, the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy. The three big lies most parents tell their kids.(Ironically while trying to teach their kids that lying is wrong.)

Here is a great Article posted by another blogger about why they choose not to lie to their kids about the holidays.

Read : We don’t do Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny or Lies

I respect her reasons and it made me really think about why I choose to lie to my kids about these mythical holiday characters. (After all, a lie is a lie , right? I mean in the real world there is no gray area , right? oh wait….yes the world is mostly gray area.) Anyway, this is not the first time that this has crossed my mind. I have often wondered why we do these traditions. Most of the time I wonder about it while I am staying up all night trying to silently wrap Santa presents or while I am driving to Walmart at 9pm ,because the “tooth fairy” forgot a prize to exchange for the tooth. It seems so wrong, on some level, to lie to our children, especially knowing that someday we will have to confess these lies to them as they grow up and face reality. I have often thought that it might have been simpler to never have started the lie to begin with, as this other mom blogger talks about in her blog. But then I think back to my own childhood. I remember the thrill and excitement on Christmas eve waiting for Santa to come. I remember the fun of wondering what the heck the tooth fairy does with all the teeth.  I remember sleeping over a friends house , where a fairy came on slumber party nights and left a kiss mark on our cheeks. I thought that was so amazing.I remember being disappointed when my mom finally confessed the truth to me. Not because my parents had lied, but because I felt like the fun had ended.

So I lie to my kids to allow them to have that fun and excitement. That thrill that only childhood fairy tales and magic can bring. Childhood should be a time of fun, wonder, and excitement. Before you know it , that is over. The adult world can be a stressful and daunting place. Why not allow them to be young for as long as possible, to believe in magic and fun? I am not saying that this other mother is wrong. Fun and magic can be had without the tooth fairy or Santa. But it is a tradition that I loved as a child and so I want to share that joy with my own kids. Every family has their own beliefs and traditions.

So I stay up half the night on Christmas ever trying to wrap presents without a sound, I get up at the crack of dawn to hide eggs and I sometimes drive to Walmart at 9pm to be a good tooth fairy. Being not just one magical creature, but three, is hard work. But the more joy I see my kids getting out of it, the more fun my husband I have too. We even get a little carried away sometimes. One year Santa’s elves trashed the house. We poured sugar on the counter and made mini snow angles in it, toilet papered the living room, wrote on the mirror with tooth paste and hung underwear on the Christmas tree. The kids were hysterical with laughter. (The laughter made scrubbing hardened tooth paste off the mirror worth it.) Most years the Easter bunny shreds lettuce all over the living room ( because everyone who owns a real pet bunny knows they are messy eaters). The kids are full of giggles and memories on holidays in our house and I have decided that being the Easter bunny is almost as much fun as believing in him…almost.

My daughter is now 11,almost 12. I know soon the magic will end for her. But I only hope that she can see that the wonderful fun and memories was well worth the lie. I also hope she chooses to someday experience the fun I have had as a parent bringing the magic to life for her own kids.

I am not saying that the opinion of this other blogger is wrong. Every family needs to decide what is right for them. We do a lot of the same things that this family talks about in their post.  Which I think is equally as important.We teach our kids the real history of the holidays. We celebrate the winter solstice and the return of the sun. We celebrate the spring equinox and the start of new life. I hope that these lessons will travel with them to adulthood , along with the fun memories we have created through the lies.

 

 

14 thoughts on “Why I lie to my kids.

  1. I think of it as a living story that the kids get to be a part of. It’s fun for them. They have tons of imaginary friends, why not imaginary heroes as well?

    Love this piece. 🙂

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  2. I respect your views and your carried on traditions, I like your post and thank you for sharing mine. I did it for 7 years like I said and I did enjoy it as a young child as well, but once us older kids knew the truth we got punished if we “spoiled” it for our younger sibling. Once my oldest knew the truth, I realized continuing the charade for 4 other children was just going to be messy.

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    1. I am curious, how do you handle the kids being around other kids that do believe. Do you ask them to not “spoil it” so to speak? It is so embedded in popular culture. It must be difficult.

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      1. We explained to them that some parents do tell their children that they are “real” (the younger kids have never been exposed to the Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy, so they just have no idea) as for Santa they see him in movies and at school or around town at Christmas time, and they know that other kids believe in him, like their school mates and cousins, they just don’t say anything when it comes up.

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      2. That’s awesome. Part of me is jealous that you beat to such a different drum. We are having fun with it for now. Hoping it doesn’t break any hearts when the truth comes out. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.

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  3. As mine have got older and start to question I’ve always told them these mythical characters are real for as long as they believe they are. I’ve found they naturally accept when older – my eldest daughter is still awaiting tooth fairy money – because she knows I haven’t been paid yet! 😁😁

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  4. I “lied” to my kids and we all had a lot of fun with the anticipation and surprises. When the truth began to dawn on them, they were smart enough to go along with it so the game would not end. We share so many wonderful memories and I suspect the tradition will continue with the next generation.

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  5. We had fun with our daughter (now 17) when she was younger… But we did it in a weird way. We never did Father Christmas or any of those, we did the ‘Balloon fairy’ and the ‘cake fairy’. She knew it was all rubbish but she played along and we had great fun with it. Not only that but her friends picked up on it and I actually had one of the other kids parents pull me to the side to ask me about just who the ‘Balloon fairy’ was!
    It was just so much fun, but because nobody took it straight the other parents were all caught off guard. B-)

    I don’t hold with lying to kids. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. *shrug*
    Having said that I don’t think its right to spoil other families ways of doing things.

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  6. My “baby” is now 31 years old but I remember the joy my kids got from Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. We considered, when our eldest was born, not teaching them about these three mythical figures but decided that we wanted our kids to have a magical childhood.We took video of Santa picking up the cookies and glass of milk and even putting a half-eaten cookie back on the plate. His boots made ashy prints from the fireplace to the tree. The Easter Bunny had his special traditions as well. I realize not all parents tell their kids to expect Santa, EB, and the Tooth Fairy but, now that they’re grown and still talk about those days, it was worth it to us!

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